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Bedtime can be a struggle. Often it is accompanied by demands, whining, and flat out rebellion. What is the best way to deal with children who resist going to bed. There is not just one approach to this problems and like with most aspects of child rearing, different approaches work with different children. The following techniques are ones that have worked for many people
Be consistent about bed times and waking times. Certainly life requires some variation, but the task of putting a child to bed will be easier if the child’s body is used to a specific schedule. Some people insist that this must be done from when the child is an infant, but others feel that bedtime should be established when a child is between 2 and 3 years old. It is possible to train a child later, but the earlier the child is established on a routine, the easier the adjustment to bedtime.
Make the activities the same every night. Whether a parent tells the child a story, provides a bedtime snack, puts in a short video, or plays quiet games before putting the child in bed, it should be consistent, so bedtime is a familiar and pleasant task. There should be a quieting time that prepares the youth for lying down and sleeping.
Some parents will lie in bed until the youngster is fast asleep and then slip out unnoticed. This is fine, except for those nights when the child fights sleep for 30-45 minutes. The presence of the parent in this situation may encourage the child to stay awake. If the youth feels there is any hope of getting out of bed, the parent’s proximity will enhance this hope, and trips to the bathroom, drinks of water, and requests for more stories may follow. In this situation the parent could tell the child to stay in bed while he/she goes to the bathroom. The adult may then stay away for 5 to 10 minutes, return to check on the child, and deal with any problems. If the child continues to fight sleep, the parent may continue to do short errands assuring the youth that he/she will return. While the child lies in bed and waits for the parent’s return the youngster will most probably fall asleep.
Some things to consider with the resistent child is to talk to the child about the day's events. Sometimes children wrestle to make sense out of their day, and a short outline, spoken in a soft soothing tone of voice will help relax them and clear up any questions they had about their day. Another approach is telling the child a story with him/her as the main character. This will engage the child and be very satisfying to him/her at the same time. Allow the child to be the hero, or a beautiful princess to really delight them. If a child is continually resisting sleep, consider seeing a doctor to eliminate the possibility of an underlying medical problem.
As the child grows older, if a consistent bedtime is maintained the task will become easier. The most important issue is consistency and repetition. If the child can expect the same thing every night, and these customary tasks are pleasant, bedtime can become a delightful family ritual.
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